Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
