I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Your penis caused this!
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