I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Randomize
