hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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