I don't remember. Are we still dating?
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
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