This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize