so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
