If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Randomize
