VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Randomize
