dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
