Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
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