do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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