when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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