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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
