Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Randomize
