seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Randomize
