we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
