Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
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