ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
