Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
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