im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
