i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
