so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
