The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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