The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
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