these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Is her dick bigger than yours?
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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