I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
