So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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