I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
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