I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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