When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
