so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Boobs are out for the taking
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
