Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
