So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
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