Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
