Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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