I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
God, you're like boner-b-gone
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
