Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
I'm sorry my penis didn't work
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
