hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
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