she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
