Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize
