So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I'm getting married
To pizza
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Randomize
