I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
