Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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