Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
