do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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