My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Randomize
