I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I look excited, but its just a facade.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Randomize
