yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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