My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
