I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
wrigley field is MILF paradise
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
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