thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Randomize