how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
