By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize