You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
