I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
Dignity is for republicans.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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