You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
That's intense
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
Randomize
