Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Randomize
