Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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