I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Randomize