Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
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