...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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