It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
