"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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