please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
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