Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
