Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
there is puke in my bra ... again
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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