420 ftw
Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize
