brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Randomize
