I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
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