She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize