Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
