I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
My pussy is not your playground.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize