If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
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