wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
