last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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